Idiot’s Guide on How to Cope on Being a Loser at Video Games

Idiot’s Guide on How to Cope on Being a Loser at Video Games

Playstation, X-box, Gameboy, PSP, Game Cube or Wii, it doesn’t matter what you play. As long as you’re winning, you’d be pretty happy. But what if you’re a born loser? What should you do? Within the next few minutes of your reading time, I’ll be giving you the lowdown on how to take things (especially losing) to a higher level. Here’s what you should do:

CHEAT. Cheating can sometimes help a lot. Use some cheat codes from the internet. Plug in a gameshark. Request for breaks during gameplay. Do what you like and do it good. For what its worth, it may just work.

COMPLAIN. Always make sure that you have a complaint ready when playing against expert video gamers. Say anything you want. Just make sure that it sounds valid. Tell him your controller has a problem. Tell him your video game’s got virus. Tell him your tv is malfunctioning. Tell him the game is cheating. It comes in handy especially in situations where you really can’t win. He might actually believe you and call it quits. Presto, an instant draw!

MAKE EXCUSES. Excusecitis (a sickness whose symptom is always having an excuse) really helps in times when your being a loser is showing. Say that you’re just not in the mood. Say that you’re just being easy on him. Say that you’re just warming up. Say that you’re sick. Tell him any excuse you can think of. If he bites it, the score restarts.

MAKE HIM LAUGH. Now, we all know that it’s not easy to think when you are in the mood to laugh, so peak of funny things to him while playing. Pick your nose. Fart. Burp. Blabber. Tickle him. Do whatever you think may make him laugh. He might just lose his concentration and you may just score a win!

ACT LIKE A PSYCHO. Cover his eyes while playing. Pinch his nose. Pull away the controller from him. Unplug his joystick. Press the reset button. Turn off the tv. Bite the video game cd. Make annoying sounds. Anything goes. Just don’t do it too much or he’ll get angry.

BLOW THINGS UP. Finally, if you still can’t win, get your destructiveness going. Get a bazooka and devastate your whole tv and video game set. If it still doesn’t work, get an army tank and desolate your whole house. Yahoo, party time!

If all else fails, go to the courts and sue the gaming companies that made your electronic toys. They’re the ones that made them. They should be responsible for your defeat.

Chow!